none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
