Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
