Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
