Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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