I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
