Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
