I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
