i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
