erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
