so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
