I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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