But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
