Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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