dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
