IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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