Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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