We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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