I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
