He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
