Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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