If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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