I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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