So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
