And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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