I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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