We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
