just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
whose parrot is this?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
