I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize