so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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