so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
