That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
its liver damage thursday
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
