He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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