White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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