He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
