he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
