Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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