No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
