We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
