Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
