I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
