Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
