My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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