Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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