i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
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Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here