I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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