So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
