I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
