plz talk dirty to me
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I supernannyed him into submission
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
