Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have already put on my inside pants.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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