I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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