Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
