those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
