she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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