Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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