i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize