so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
