I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
