i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
