just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
