She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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