i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
