He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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