I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
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We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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